Searching.

I keep circling around facebook, twitter, and tumblr reading about other people's lives. I have a paper that was due last Tuesday but haven't started it and I'm still surfing social media without a great power to stop.  Why am I so interested? 

 I realized tonight,  that I'm here because I'm looking for something.

 inspiration probably. a community maybe. a home? 

I think that everywhere I go, I'm looking for a home. You know what I mean by home right? Not a roof with walls, I mean a group that beats together.  A place surrounded with people that question and challenge you everyday.  People who pay attention to things below the surface and  think about the world as much as I do. People who you skip sleep to have conversations with.  People who show up for each other.

On some level I do have this.  I have great, great love all over the world.  Relationships where we don't talk for weeks, months, but our significance to each other is permanent and never questioned. But this love is not proximal to my waking up and going to bed everyday. And any analyst of humanity understands that that is not enough.  

I'm not surrounded by who I want to be, I don't know how to find the mad ones.  Is Baraboo the only place that breads them?